why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
