i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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