I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
