Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
