My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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