You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
