Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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