Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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