I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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