sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
