This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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