she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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