Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
