Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
