i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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