Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
