Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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