Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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