What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
