Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
