i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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