problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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