TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She even gives head with a lisp.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
