i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
