So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
