Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
