Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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