Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
