this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
