R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
