I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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