wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
