i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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