There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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