he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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