I wish I could teleport
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
