now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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