If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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