Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
