Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
