So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
