He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
