Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
