I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
