Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
