WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
