What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked a lego.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
