I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
