Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
