btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm like, not good at living.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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