who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
