It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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