omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
