Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
